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| As I sit here tutoring children at Homework Bound Learning Center in Granada Hills, California, I can't help but think how much easier it was back then. Back when we were younger. Back when backstabbing wasn't done intentionally and any pain was physical from falling or emotional from getting an A- on a homework assignment. I see some of these kids and wonder why they're having such a tough time, or why they just don't want to listen. It's funny how friendships back then drew on drama surrounding something said on accident or something done on accident and resolved itself with a simple "sorry" or even the more extravagant "I'm so so so sorry! Please forgive me!"
There's crap that little kids throw at each other (both literal and symbolic) but there's so many more good times that fill in the gaps (if you're lucky). But for the most part, at least from my experience, the good times leave as you get older and crap stays behind and becomes grosser and danker and older and just more disgusting in general. I guess there's nothing we can really do about it. People have grudges and get jealous. We find it hard to forgive, hard to trust. We think we're always right. And while many people remain open-minded, it is an undeniable truth that this world was meant to be one of "survival of the fittest," therefore forcing humanity to do all that they can for themselves to make sure that they make it through alive.
Basically, I'm having trouble accepting the fact that some friendships just aren't the same anymore. And as much as I say, "Fuck it" and try to pretend that I don't care what these people are doing anymore, the truth is that I guess I really do still love these people if just thinking about this makes me break down and cry. I feel like all my efforts, both great and small, simply go unnoticed and instead of getting any response or anything good in return, I get disdainful eyes and opinions, conversations saying that "I'm not good" for something and that I'm an obstacle, unwanted baggage. Maybe they're right and that really is the case. However, they don't know my side. They don't know the efforts I've made, the love I share with others.
I don't know...it's so hard to try to explain this without giving out names, but I guess that's okay. I'm just a blogger, am I not? I'm writing this for me, and to a point, even for the world to see. Although I don't know who's reading this right now (if anyone).
Time for me to end this entry. It's getting quite lengthy. So...take care, readers.
Until next time,
Angela from the purplebowl
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| Work seems to consume life now. (I mostly say this because it is almost 7.30 in the evening and I am still in Beverly Hills with my mom) And who would've thought that a few months ago I was almost dying for a job and some extra cash. Don't get me wrong, work isn't too bad. I mean, you do get paid to be doing what you're doing right? Exactly. Well, the places I am working at are most definitely not terrible.
Job #1: Working with Mom
Now, this may sound like a pain, but I've come to find that it's really not. First off, I get the satisfaction of knowing that I'm helping out my mom at least a little bit. And I feel somewhat important writing these demand letters and deducting paychecks and sorting out files. You get to learn a little bit about a lot of different people when you're shuffling through papers to sort out. And I am inside an air-conditioned office all day long. Not too shabby when you want to escape those hot, sweat-inducing rays of sun. Although summer wouldn't be summer without those rays I presume.
Job #2: Working at the UCLA Store Market
So, my newest and first non-family related/instigated job...UCLA Market. Oh the loveliness of it all. Scanning items and putting unsorted things on shelves. Slight sarcasm, but not. I love to learn knew things I suppose because I got a kick out of ringing people up at the register. Mind you most of the customers were quite nice and understood that I was still in training. But nevertheless, I found myself learning quickly and somewhat efficiently. First day of paid work...next Friday. Here's to early mornings and making sure I've organized my schedule!
So with two part-time jobs on hand, it's easy to think that I will get a tad distracted or stressed during the Fall quarter. I'd just like to hope not. I guess this is sort of like a New Year's Resolution, except more like a New School Year's Resolution. Yes, I know I know...I do this often. But hey, what's wrong with a few goals? So I haven't been close to keeping most of my resolutions in the past...so what? There's no need to stop making them. If I didn't make them in the first place I will have already discarded the first step in trying. ;)
Well, I think I will end with a couple of long awaited pictures of the newest members of the family: Scruffles and Snooze. I'm pretty sure that by the pictures, you'll be able to tell which is which :) Enjoy!
Until next time,
Keep reading,
Angela from the purple bowl
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| I’ve been coming to terms with why people are the way they are.
Well, okay maybe I haven’t come to complete terms with it, but I
suppose I’ve just been thinking about it.
It’s a little hard for me to explain what I’m thinking right now.
Only one person knows who and what I am talking about although he/she
does not truly understand what I mean when the words come out of my
mouth. I guess I just feel like I’m losing something that I thought I
had but apparently didn’t have. Actually, I take that back. I’m not
losing it; it’s already lost. At least I feel like it is.
I believe I am a good person, no matter what anyone says. However,
little words from little mouths always make people overthink and even
reevaluate how things are. I see what I do and admit that I have my
flaws and have made mistakes. But…I also know that I truly care at
heart and that I do little things all the time, which almost always go
unnoticed by the surrounding world. I suppose I’ll never be “good
enough” for those people who have put me on the lower rung on the
ladder of friendship. I’m a bad guy. But I’m not. Really, I’m not.
I feel like I’m rambling, but if you read through this, thanks.
Now, for some uplifting (sorta) news! I got my first outside of the
family business job! (cheers!) During the Fall Quarter I will be
working in UCLA’s Ackerman Student Union in the Market. Woohoo for
extra cash to save up for vet school! Fall Quarter is going to be a
busy one. With class Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays and a job in
between those mornings, plus another part-time job in Beverly Hills on
Mondays and Wednesdays (my days “off”) I think I’ll be running wild
with a desire for freedom. Well…we’ll see how it goes 
Until next time,
Thanks for reading,
Angela from the purple bowl | | |
| Well, the warm days continue on as the subject line says, but I seem
to slow with each day. Not in the sense that I’m growing old and weak,
no. But rather that I’m falling into some bad, lazy habits. I
actually have a paper to write that’s due tomorrow (well, technically
Wednesday since there was an extension), but instead I sit here on my
computer and write this blog while watching my pet rats (Scruffles and
Snooze) groom each other. haha I’m not too worried as the paper needs
to be 2-5 pages long and I already have some sort of an outline in my
head (despite the fact that I didn’t finish the book yet). But like I
said, no worries!
The warm summer nights have actually been filled with the other for
the past week or so. Our water heater broke so we have been taking
cold showers in the middle of the night for quite some time now. Yes,
yes, I know a cold shower sounds like a good idea during this horrid
heat, but it really isn’t. I shiver and find myself unable to
breathe. Lucky for us, the water heater was finally fixed this
evening. I can’t wait for a nice warm shower!
Off to the shower I go! I told you–I can’t wait!
I’ll be back sooner than you think ;D
Until next time,
Angela from the purple bowl | | |
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